I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
