I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
