Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just puked most of my soul out..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
