If that was your dad, he is hot
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
