I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
