Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
