Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
that's an acceptable place to lick
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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