we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
