direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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