If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
