So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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