you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize