please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
