He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
