well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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