is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
