There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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