its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
