She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
