Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
