So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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