True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
