I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
