idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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