There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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