I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
