Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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