Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we're making bets on your personal life
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
