She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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