thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
