Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
