Buhtt sex?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
