***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
