I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
