Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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