Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
