Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
