I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
