it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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