you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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