the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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