the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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