It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
