ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
