More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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