he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
