I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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