My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
