let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
