So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize
