Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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