U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
