Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So many bounce houses so little time
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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