I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
