she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
