I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
