Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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