did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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