no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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