i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
